Hidden Shadows, Beauty in the Dark Side

November 11, 2012 at 4:37 pm Leave a comment

Image of Soul

I have survived with my fragile core by developing elaborate ways of being that veil (protect) my true authentic self. These personalities I wear are so well worn and ingrained that I don’t even recognize them as inauthentic. My family did not acknowledge negative emotions or pessimistic comments. Now, as an adult, it is hard for me to process negative emotions sometimes tuning out “bad stuff”. I even avoid situations or ideas that have the potential for being ugly or unpleasant.

I made a 12” square “inside outside” box. I painted the outside describing what I considered prominent dimensions of my personality. My six sides were painted as spiritual, logical, sensual, nurturing, playful and beautiful. The inside of the box held layers of spirals of white tissue with bright lights shining through. I thought of how these outside images were all just ideas I had about myself. The important part was on the inside with the pure white light representing an open, accepting, clear, glowing soul. It was beautiful in its simplicity. But this morning, upon refection, I realized that on the outside of my box, I had forgotten to portray any shadow parts of my personalities. I had depicted my family’s accepted ROLES!

I have made a pledge to myself to be attentive to the “negative”. Rather than turn away or shut down, I am going to let myself experience these feelings. To be conscious of my response and pay attention to it, I intend to develop a tolerance for the dark side. I have established a habit of denying what doesn’t feel “good”. To break loose from this habit, I am going to write down one example each day for 30 days. If I dissolve some of the automatic blockage of what I perceive to be negative, I will more be able to fully experience myself and my life.

Mandala representing my spiritual side on top of Inside Outside Box

Fun playful side and sensual, sensitive sides of Inside Outside box

Peaceful, nurturing side and pragmatic, logic side at the base of my Inside Outside Box

Advertisements

Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

New Art Therapy Student’s Artist’s Block The Power of Touch, Jin Shin Jyutsu (Acupressure)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed


AUTHOR Amy Hautman Bates

I started this blog intending to write about the creative art's health and healing potential. Having been around art all my life, I thought I knew a lot about Art Therapy. But the more I read, the more fascinated I became, and the more I realized how little I knew. This blog is about my journey from full time artist to student at Southwestern College to Art Therapist... and whatever happens along the way.

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.


%d bloggers like this: